life goes on

24/1/06

2006-01-24T03:42:00.000+08:00

somehow i can sense sth around me is wrong..the prob is..i dunno wad..this feeling is like bothering me the whole night already..and i got pilot test in like 4 hrs+ time?..man...

23/1/06

2006-01-23T05:14:00.000+08:00

gosh...took some time out of my "busy" sleeping schedule..and realise..how things around me change...its was barely 2 mths ago dat i finished my As..stepped into the working world for a mth or so and now slacking like say..23 days away?..wasted all these time man..guess i better start doing sth abt my life..get a job..cont my driving lessons and hopefully clear my pilot selection test..hahas..dun misunderstand me..i still have no interest in this whole pilot thingy..well..the pay and all the incentives are attractive..but..i just dun wanna do sth i am not interest in just coz of $$$...its like getting torture for money..
now my life is practically as wasted as it can be...i miss my 7+1 a lot...dun even knoe how are they doing now..hardly get smses from them..not dat i am gay or sth..but i thought a sms like 3 times in a week to let me knoe how u guys are doing will be nice..hahaz..knoe its a bit too much to ask...
so many things change and is gonna change during this 2 draggy mths of my life...school stops for me..training too..everything seems too..carefree?..i wake up every morning with nuthin to look forward to..may is busy with her FYP and amanda is prob busy with perry now dat he is back from thailand..sigh..guess i gonna be rotting another few days away till CNY..i do hope i get the job at may's office..now dat i love working..just dat i knoe i am not wasting my life away like now..and for once..i miss the schooling days..the rushing your life away over assignments..studying till u get dark rings test...oh well..guess i gotta grow up..and speaking of dat..i am like gonna be 20 soon?..in abt a mth plus time...and after dat i gonna be enlisted to NDU...hmm..also dunno wads install for me..guess i just gonna do my best and hopefully have some achievements i can be proud of when i ORD..BUT..before all these gonna happen..the long awaited and dreaded A level results release dat is like approaching...i can feel the pressure man..i hope i will do well...hmm..NO!..i will do well..i prayed for good results and the bible assures me dat god will give unconditionally...all i have to do is have faith man!
YESH!...
i miss the beach..the sun..the sand..school..vball..and my beloved 7+1 gang..

influence

2006-01-22T05:28:00.000+08:00

sometimes just wonder how easily some people can be shaken even after making their own decisions...which sometimes irritates me like how come this person cant have a stronger stand in wad he believes...this applies esp to guys..
well..i do admit there are times when i will give in and get influence by people but..i dare say..80% of the time..i am a stubborn as a mule..unwilling to change wad stuffs i have decided in my mind...
saw a few close friends of mine getting so strongly influence by NS...cant help but stop and think..are they still the person i used to knoe?
sigh...they say ns..builds up your vulgar vocab..gets u more gung-ho..and most of the time u tink with your muscles and not with your brains..woa..somehow..the transformation in some of my friends is actually erking me away from ns...more and more disgusted with it..
just a gentle reminder to my friends in NS out there...dun get influence by people inside till theres a change of your character yea?..u are who u are..dun start scolding vulgar..talk horny..and all the stuffs la..this is your self discipline..prove to me how STRONG u really ar..CONTROL urself..to me..if ure unable to control even your mouth to scold vulgar..i dunno how far u can actually go in life..take care boys~

i have already give it a rest...

2006-01-17T02:53:00.000+08:00

someone read her blog and realise someone has tagged some not to nice stuffs on her blog..sigh..smsed her to clarify it wasnt me..but whether she believed anot is another story..i have already give a break..taking it dat i have never known those 2...i am angered..refuse to talk..but i wont resort to such stuffs..i got better things to do in the new chapter of my life...

views

2006-01-11T01:43:00.000+08:00

views...people often have different view abt stuffs around us..about a situation or even abt problems dat happen in out life..as a ordinary boy next door..i often feel dat my view along is not strong enough to substantiate wad i see or feel abt sth..dats y i often ask along a few friends to help me decide on stuffs..explains why i go shopping with more than a person always..if not..i wont get anything..
okay..back to the topic..views..well..we often are happy when people agree with us abt stuffs..but those people dat dun agree with us..we simply ignore them...lets think again..how often do we actually put negative feedbacks into consideration..nobody wanna hear them to begin with not to say accept them...
this passing phase of my life have been a joke...i thought sth big in my life happen..but then again before i knew it..i threw that chance away..so much happen..i view myself as someone who is in pain..well..it hurts to me..but often i do not much show it esp during outings with my friends and family..but then again..there are people who tinks i am not and just seeking self pity..to make someone else feel bad..seriously..i dunno why they tink dat way..wad i place here on my blog is as for myself..how i feel abt things around me and things dat happened to me..hmm..but to think on the negative feedback i was given..maybe i am a lil insensitive abt stuffs..abt stuffs i post..so i hereby apologise for those hurt i cause..but then again..if anyone thinks he/she will get hurt or offended when reading my blog..i guess..its better if u dun read..make things easier for everybody...
the new yr has past and CNY is coming..everything dat happened last CNY seems like yest when i had my 7+1 buddies..coming to my place for a gathering..this year..how will it be..i dare not comment..wonder if 7+1 still exist to some people..hmm..sorry if i cause a tremor to the gang..i knoe it upset some of u..yea..sorry..but i hope u guys view things from my pt..i can no longer see some of u like before..in fact some of which i dun even consider them a friend anymore..
well..things seem weird at start when i see u guys one by one going into ns..but well..got used to it..sorta regretted why i agreed to be a naval diver..i go in late..stuck here all alone..and when u guys are all out..i will still be inside serving ns..but well..i guess i shall just look forward to the scuba diving license dat i will be getting after two yrs..for this one time..my dad is rite in a sense dat "i thought u have been wanting to scuba dive since young" which brought by some memories dat i had place behind my head..oh well..NDU here i come
was chatting with fiona just now..and wow..she really is a great listening ear..chatting with her make me feel peaceful and stuffs..no wonder yang love her so much..i fully understand now..=)..okay..the way she view stuffs is quite open in a sense like..she view things from diff perspective..which makes her smart girl..she told me dat i should let go..but guess wad..i already did..just dat i cant stop harping on stuffs u see..and yea..i lost someone precious to me during this whole saga..but well..life gotta move on..some of u may think.."oh well..just forgive him and u 2 can be good friends again"..but i just gotta tell u..i cant bring myself to trust him with anything ever since wad happened..thus to make things simple and less tormenting for the both of us..i tink..having ten friends whom u cant trust..can never beat dat u have only one friend whom u can entrust your life to..
suddenly recalled sth when blogging..mingren my honey sent me a sms not so long ago..and it sorta touched me..and yes..the emotional me..teared...it goes like this.."i hope when we are all 50 yrs old..we can sit down at some coffeeship to drink coffee"...oh well..guess wad..i look forward to dat day too..hmm...
views..well to end off..just wanna say that viewing things from your and own perspective maybe a lil too selfish..esp when u comment on wad you view..it may just hurt someone along the way..so..well..lets all get going to look at things from diff angles..and maybe try to understand how someone else may view the whole thing..and see how we can go abt from there...

"everybody wants to go heaven..but nobody wants to die.."..hmm..food for though here~

wad is maturity? friendship? hurt? care? love?

2006-01-09T13:32:00.000+08:00

sometimes i ponder abt wad people comment on wads maturity? does maturity = able to accept hurt without fighting back?..dats certainly not my way of maturity...somehow to me..doing things dat u knoe will hurt your friend and going ahead with it is also not my way of friendship..maturity is again qns in this situation..does going ahead with sth u knoe will hurt your friend called maturity?..its a display of total selfishness and childishness..yes..they say LOVE is selfish..but loving someone and at the same time hurting another..hmm..how long can u live with it?..no conscience?...personally i cannot do it..asking me to chase someone whom i knoe my friend ( or even close friend ) likes her too..its not a way of showing my maturity..hurt..humph..hurt can be displayed in many diff ways i feel..displayed in forms of anger or hatred..for me..i simply ignore..i ignore things dat arent pleasant to me to make my life a better one..i keep telling myself, "why get all caught up with hurt?" when i can simply ignore it..sometimes i would even go to the extent of deleting him/her from all phases of my life to assist myself in ignoring the hurt or even forgetting them..
wad does care actually mean to me..caring for someone to me is not just words and agenda..its more than dat..i always believe action speaks louder than words..dats y i always show care thru forms of "touch" or doing things for them..prob dats y u often see me pad my friends on the head or even putting my hand over their shoulder..doing things for them..hmm..i often go to the extent of not thinking of myself to show care for my friends..i often do things dat make me feel like "how come i cant tink of myself more.."
love..hmm..they say its complicated and selfish..yes i do agree dat its complicated..and selfish?..i doubt so..people often say dat loving someone is wanting him/her to be happy..to me..dats pretty true..i had love someone so dear to me..though she is with another..but everytime i see her smile when shes on the phone with her or when she brings him up to the discussion..makes my heart melt..hmm..hereby i share a lil account ..any mere coincidence wasnt intentional:
there was a guy..hmm..whom dun dare to love another after his last breakup with his ex..well..he got a few girls whom express their love to him..but someone he just dun dare to accept it..saying things dat will cont prolong the whole "give me an ans" process....well..there was this one girl..whom he encountered who find him non attractive and bad tempered..which was pretty diff from the other girls..this girl thought getting along with him would give her the rights to change his temper esp..well..the guy was not very much in LOVE with her..but just a mere liking..(this tingling feeling in your heart)..but well..he was rdy to make do with it..and give it a shot..but then again..the barrier of every guy's life - - NS...this guy thought dat liking her wont mean letting her suffer and wait for 2 whole yrs..alone outside while he is serving ns..so he gave a witty reply to the girl's honesty "if after my ns and we are both single..we will give it a try yea?"...low and behold..things dun always go the want u want it..this guy's best friend fell in love with the girl...and his friend thought if he could just bring them 2 together..maybe he will just give up...but to this guy..his best friend's feelings are more impt than anything else..he decided not to hurt him..
when this guy was pushed to wall for an ans to the girl..he gave a simple "i dont live her" which seems not so real..all for this girl's 2 yrs and for his best friend's feelings..
things turn out worse for this guy when one day he witness his best friend held this girl's hands...his heart sank..
his best friend well..did do a bit..and decided to break up with a girl dat day when the guy saw them together...it hurt dat girl a lot i would say..
thought the whole saga ended?..well..think again..the best friend decided to go back with that girl after a few days of consideration..but this time round..he knoes dat the guy likes her enough to give him the timgling feeling in his heart..and dat if he were to go together with that girl..this guy would be hurt and it will be in turn bring their friendship to a halt..man are born selfish..he went on with it without much care..
that guy was hurt..

the story of course din not end here..everything dat follows will be up to u guys imagination...maturity..friendship..care ..love wasnt much displayed here..so hereby i hope that u will just leave things as it is and give me a break..i wasnt displaying your bad qualities if u wanna knoe...i was merely displaying the whole account of wad happened..i dun dare how much u wanna see it..but i knoe i was mature enough to ignore the whole incident..i did not seek pity or anything..i merely just got consoles from friends who learnt abt the situation..yea..

nuthin more to say

2006-01-08T22:40:00.000+08:00

gain sympathy?..i dun need to..everyone else can see wads going on..childish?..be mature abt it..u dunno wad happened and how much it hurts?..get a life..leave me alone

thanks bestie...

2006-01-05T00:50:00.000+08:00

as usual..my bestie sort things out for me again..and i cant just hold back the logical stuffs she said..
"1stly fr. the things u told me abt her..
i dun really see her as the all sweet n nice, understanding gal as a gf
2ndly, she impresses upon me as a gal who would consider any guy who shows interest
which is not really wat i feel is a quality
i feel it shows some kind of misuse of her attractiveness
3rdly, she noes she's causing u guys pain, confusion n even jeopardising the friendship..
she says it but nothing she does is constructive to this situation
she says u rejected her, n seems to me she's hurt by it..
n so y the easy move on to accept **"
guess shes rite..all i have to do now is let time go..immature?..or even considered childish?..u dunno how much it hurts..

bye guys...

2005-12-26T11:40:00.000+08:00

everything will be so much better if i am not around...decided to leave everything behind and go...

stewpid fish...

2005-12-22T20:28:00.000+08:00

=)...went fishing with yang and mr yest and well..had quite a lot fun only AFTER we manage to catch some stewpid fish...its a rare breed..these fishes will act swim to shoreand get out of the water like they all committing suicide..hmm..stewpid arent they?..

but guess wad..from this lil stewpid fish incident makes me rem someone..knowing dat the shore is near and still go on dashing towards it..humph..well..at least i knoe i have said wadeva i needa say to him and dat theres nuthing more i can do..oh wells..to that someone : "wadeva happens..i will be by you yea?..i just cant get myself to be angry with u for long..hmm..if ure the stewpid fish ..i will just wait for u at the shore quietly..till u arrive..and when ure struggling for oxygen..i will pick u up and throw u back into the sea regardless of how much of a fish-phobia person i am"...take care yea?

hahaz..i must thank mr and yang man for the great ton..thanks for being there for me and take care yea?..i will see ya guys around soon...hahaz..never realise how much i miss u guys till i need u guys..=)

chaos~

changes...

2005-12-18T23:37:00.000+08:00

just realise lotsa changes took place after the As..when i pass by bukit panjiang plaza a few hrs ago..met boss there and later we head to mayspring to give our senior ying ying some face for her 21st birthday..

well..back to the changes..i was passing bpp just now and found dat they have starbucks there and stuffs..shops i have never seen before when i was still schooling in pj..which got me thinking abt how much changes took place after As..

some of my bestie team mates are working now...and like i am no longer a student in the mean time and stuffs..when the enlistment date of my friends approaching..i start to wonder whether i can take it being alone still working my time away...

basically..i am a person who seriously cant stand loneliness...stuffs liek eating alone travelling alone are things i dun feel comfortable with..dats y i cherish my friends alot..

spoke to bb yest and learn dat i was sensitive..hmm..to think abt it..yes i dare not deny..but "why?".. i ask myself..well..and came out with this ans so as to have sth to show myself..

probably because i need people who cares abt and looks after me..hmm..sth like a guardian angel i suppose..i mean..i dare say for all my life as a servant leader..i have been looking after my team mates and juniors like my own younger brothers or sisters..i try to give all i can for them..showing them care and concern in my own sorta way...but..
who was there to look after me like how i look after people?..hmm..someone i cant find the ans..well..guess god have not allow me to meet my guardian angel yet..
that is prob why even when it comes to relationships..i seek for someone who can look after than someone i need to look after..i mean..yea..well..guess tentatively the ans will be as so till i find a better argument to rebutt this..

for now..i gotta sleep..drank a lil just now..and somehow aint feeling rite..got a lil of gastric..gotta take some med and get some rest and get myself ready for work tmr..chaos~

class gathering...

2005-12-17T23:25:00.000+08:00

had a rather great day today..was at this "kushing bo" jap restaurant thingy...(i dunno if i got the spelling rite)..but well..the food aint bad..it was more on the better side..okay la..as amanda and may said..the impt thing is not the food..its the people..but well..all went well..did some catching up with them and those guys esp fed me with more details abt ns and wad i am abt to face in like 4 mths time?...oh yes..and we watched this dumb movie.."the promise" which turn out to be more of a comedy than wadeva movie it was suppose to be..was laughing my hell out of it man..hahaz..happy?..well..everything was cheery till i reach home and recalled wad had happened the past week..well..now as i am blogging..i am back to the loner me again...but well..my mum (amanda) told me before.."wadeva happens..life have to go on yea?"...

trust...

2005-12-17T23:23:00.000+08:00

i have already lose trust in a friend i consider close to me...God..get me out of this man..

f**king work...

2005-12-15T21:14:00.000+08:00

bloody hell..work scene today sucks la..countless peopel wanted their msg in chinese..then make things to luan in the office.. to top it all of..my stewpid manager...kaos..keep taking our stuffs to mess up the stuffs we sort out..sometimes i dunno wad is he doing in the office..smoke..walk around..nag..man..and he gets paid like 10 over times more than anyone else in the office..the way he does things like sick la..no quality control..only care abt how the customer gonna pay him..so..so..inflexible..
came home and there comes my dad..i simply cant wait to get out of the house la..its been years since i tolerated with his immature and nonsense..how i wish i can have enough $ to get a house and move out man..livin with him just adds on more stress to my life..
seriously..i wonder how much longer can i hold on to my life..everything aint going well...from family to friends to **** and everything else..arghh..i just need someone to talk to..
i just envy my colleague..elaine who has this good friend dat waits for her after work everyday near the office..i just pray to god dat one day i will too have a friend like this..
right now..i suddenly miss the presence of this yakking non-stop friend of mine..i need someone to talk to man..and he seems to be the best at this point in time..how i wish hes back..but guess wad...hes in china lookin at rocks and mountains i tink?...
life alone sure cant get any worse...

the phone rang...

2005-12-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

just got woken up by a phone call..true enough..it was him..he called to so called apologise substituting word sorry with the word paiseh..true enough i was shaken..
people whom i often speak "heart to heart" with would have prob knoe this by now...theres only 2 person who can actually...crudely put it.. "control" me..one of which is obviously my best friend and the other is prob him..why him?..dun ask me..i seriously dunno..guess i just have a soft spot for him yea?..
well..at first..i dunno why people react so greatly to blog postings..but then i came to realise..its the word "concern" dat brought them to ring me to say sth to "appease" the bad temper monster hidden inside me...
i just wanna say a word of thanks to the 2 concern person..but this whole things is not u guys fault la..its just my view of things and prob i am having my pmsing again..thanks and sorry yea i cause such a big hooha
working tmr again..wad to look forward to this tmr..seriously i also dunno..wadeva comes la..

wheres my someone...

2005-12-14T20:27:00.000+08:00

When the world, leaves you feeling blue
You can count on me, I will be there for you
When it seems, all you hopes and dreamsAre a million miles away, I will re-assure you
We've got to all stick together
Good friends, there for each other
Never ever forget that I've got you
and you've got me, so

bad day...

2005-12-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

dated 13/12/05

this is practically one of the worse days of my life man..never knew working life would be so sucky..so much posting filing typing to do..and to add on to it..things around me aint going smoothly....

to begin...a chapter of my life hanging around her has been put to a stop just a few days ago..she decided to give up on waiting for me...well..a word of advise to her..wise choice..2 yrs is a long time..waiting aint the best option after all..sorry man i sorta upset u..but i only promise to talk abt it after my ns..and not like asked u to wait 2 yrs..guess wad..we are still good friends yea?..i hope..learning pt from this incident.."people dun care how much u knoe but how much u care" yea?...simple gestures like waiting for him for dinner..or even giving him some encouragement help sometimes...changing someone aint the best way out of a relationship..u should accept him/her as who he/she is..=)

then today...make things worse from all the guilt..from the moment i stepped into the office..i was told to go out on delivery with uncle donald..to post some xmas catalogues..before xmas...man i tell u..taking so much lifts and walking here and there aint easy..i still prefer typing D/O in the office man and enduring all the noise and nagging and complains...haiz...halfway thru..i thought i picked up my phone and check out how she is doing..and so i did..i short 5 mins conversation was enough to assure me dat she was fine...well..i later on decided to have dinner with them..so i told her to help me cancel my pract...then the worse part of the day came..

i was happily back in the office looking forward to dinner..when things change for the worse..i got an sms from one of my good friends saying dat she might be meeting someone else for dinner..so i thought well..having dinner without her is fine when he told me he will be going to play mahjong if she is not having dinner...this totally turn me off la..i was like...dunno how to put it..slog one whole day looking forward to the dinner when sth liddat just turn me off..although they did decided to have dinner in the end ..but..aiya..i lost my mood..i was too upset for it..so i rejected the dinner...was rather sad...i teared..i mean..i dunno la..prob from all the stress at work..then sth like this just broke me down...

sorry man i sorta snapped at u in the sms just now..with regard to work and u not replying..i mean i was sad and angered la..thats why the harsh smses and replies...haiz..

for the mean time..i just wanna be alone...i dun wanna hurt either of them by words i said which i dun even actually mean it...pms?...petty?..i dunno..maybe i am..for i just knoe i was disappointed..and it takes alot to cheer me up again...

=(

sick...

2005-10-25T02:21:00.000+08:00

i am sick...at the wrong time of the yr...when exams are coming ..this sucks~

sth pissed me off...

2005-10-22T03:37:00.000+08:00

sth sadden christine..angered yang..and piss me off..

i am lagging...

2005-10-10T03:31:00.000+08:00

haiz..have been asking around and realise that i am really taking my own sweet time revising..which is bad..how i wish i can have half the enthu of vanee..so dat i can pia for the remaining mth...

i really wanna do well...i have never done well for a government exam before...i hope i will for this once...

help me lord~

god is taking pictures of me...

2005-10-06T01:10:00.000+08:00

a shot conversation that i find meaningful...
(lightning strikes)
chow : woa~...the lightning looks scary...
caleb: nahs...dun worry..GOD is taking pictures of you...

chow: =)

7+1...hmm...

2005-10-01T02:40:00.000+08:00

well..read mr yang's testi and gave it some thought...wad does 7+1 actually mean to me...its more than just a family..its people who i can get irritated with..throw my tantrums at...and bitch abt mylife abt..its more than just family..its already part of my life...=)

sometimes..hearing u guys chatting away while i am studying lights up my day...

sometimes...seeing u guys tickle and hit each other makes me giggle and lol....

sometimes...seeing u guys bitch abt a certain bastard makes me wanna join in...

sometimes...see u guys slack makes me relaxed...

sometimes..hear u guys talk abt p*** makes me excited too!...=P

not much chance for us to see each other..hmm..cherish the remaining days we have together...
assumption made: we wont even say hi to each other if we meet on the streets in future.

thanks 7+1 for fulfilling my jc life...thanks

WOOTS...beaching tmr with the fm people..great day ahead for me..

pjc vball...closing down?

2005-09-28T04:41:00.000+08:00

this was boss testi to me...
De hua,
Thursday, June 10, 2004:
hi.. dan. tis is my vice cap..he is veri capable.. he realli did alot of the team. tt i tink i shld not be e cap. frm making of jersey, t-shirt.. blah.. he is a veri caring person. and cute. always make ppl luff. or stimes disturb pppl when they r resting, esp mi! but he work veri hard during training. he was my klass mate for 9mth. i met tis guy during 1st 3 mths. our effort bring e team to quarter final last yr.. and we bring pjc to semi..yea! hope after i leave. u can always bring pjc vball to greater height. keep workking.. both cca, studies, and relationship.. realli thx alot.

ever since i knoe abt the CCA cut and vball is one of the affected CCAs...tears draw into my eyes everytime i read this testi....
....sorry boss..i tried...

this is a meaningful song...

2005-09-28T02:18:00.000+08:00

時光機
作詞：阿信　作曲：阿信　編曲：五月天

那陽光　碎裂在熟悉場景　好安靜
一個人　能背多少的往事　真不輕
誰的笑　誰的溫暖的手心　我著迷
傷痕好像都變成　了曾經

全劇終　看見滿場空座椅　燈亮起
這故事　好像真實又像虛幻的情境
只是那　好不容易被說服　的自己
藉口又頂不住懊惱的侵襲

好後悔　好傷心　想重來　行不行
再一次　我就不會走向這樣的結局
好後悔　好傷心　誰把我　放回去
我願意　付出所有來換一個時光機

對不起　獨自回蕩在空氣　沒人聽
最後又是孤單　到天明(最後又是孤單　到天明)

真的痛　總是來的很輕盈　沒聲音
從背後　慢慢緩緩抱著我　就像你
你和我　還有很多的地方　還沒去
為何留我荒唐的坐在這裡

cant wait~

2005-09-28T01:57:00.000+08:00

thurs is finally coming...gonna meet mum (amanda) and may for lunch, some shopping and caleb will join us later ...CANT WAIT~~~...

prelim results is driving me nuts..

2005-09-27T23:47:00.000+08:00

woots..went beach yest..had much fun..well tried the "relax yourself and not treat everything so serious" way of beach vball yest...well..it was much better for me and i suppose everyone else..i was less stressed and able to control my temper rather well i guess..hehx

suppose to spend the whole of today studying but end up sleeping coz i woke up with an eye infection on my right eye..ah..nvm abt dat..i will study tmr then..hahaz..

the thing is..during my long sleep...i woke up at least 3 times coz i dreamt of my terrible prelim results..arghh...one was ms aw called me..then tell me i miss by 27 marks to pass chem..dun ask me why dat number..honestly speaking..it just came..the other was my physics..gosh..gotta F for it..phew~...then the other one was dat they give out result slips and i got a grade of BOF...hell..dat was the worse shocker man..dat one i jump out of bed la..haiz..as i am typing this entry..its only hours till school...i seriously pray all these dun come true man..at least i can clear all..with wad grades is okie..since i din study for maths and physics..i deserve to just pass that 2...this feeling sucks..

chaos~

i'm back.~~~

2005-09-24T07:09:00.000+08:00

hey people..i am finally back from jasmine's chalet.. wanna knoe wad happen?...pls refer to http://www.ilovehittingtheball.blogspot.com/ ... hahahz..yang yang say we just needa copy and paste..but kinda silly to have the same chunk of info for the whole group of our blogs..so yea..save space a lil..i shall add on a bit more...

well..kinda glad theres this chalet..seriously..a bit like class gathering..but not forgetting its jasmine's birthday..ah well... HAPPY BIRTHDAY!~...

things din work out as well at first..esp for the wild wet programme...many people din wanna go at first..but well..glad all things went well in the end..haz..i sms mingren to seek his understanding on this..say sth like "...this is prob our first and last time going to this theme park together...furthermore..school is like ending..few yrs down the road..dun even knoe we will say hi to each other on the street if we meet anot..so i wanna have sth to rem with u yea?" ... well this is darn true..this goes out to the whole of 7+1...i really hope few yrs down the road when we see each other again..we will act acknowledge each other and not just walk past pretending we din see each other..sighs..

then on the second night..spend like 3 hrs talking to geral...she fill me in on so many things going around me abt the things going on around me that i din realise...after listening to her..i sincerely must apologise to my good friend yang...sorry kid..din realise things aint going that well between us coz of my stewpid behaviour..hope all goes well..have been quite tough for me to be open to u after dat quarrel..i will try my best yea?..seriously..temper - ing down and stuffs so nuthin stewpid will happen again.. and of course thanks to GERAL for filling me in on stuffs i miss out...and hahahz..we of course gossip abt many more stuffs which shall just remain a lil secret between us...

oh ya...hahahz...i learn a bit of para para from cheryl..hahaz..thanks for guiding me through the dance..will go work hard and make sure i can dance at least a full song next time we go to the arcade yea?

and to all those whom i have offend in one way or another during this period of stress...i sincerely apologise..i will try to find the old me before school starts again yea?..its a promise my friends...

chaos~

=|

2005-08-13T00:44:00.000+08:00

hmm...see a doc or not?...dats the qns in my mind at this point in my life...see a doc and get it treated...or pretend nuthin happened and live my life to the fullest before everything is too late...

group2?...why?

2005-07-26T00:19:00.000+08:00

maths teacher came into class...

daniel: mdm..are u suppose to tell us wad grouping are we banded into so dat we may knoe where to go the next lect?
maths teacher: oh yah...
maths teacher: cheryl...group1...........................daniel...group 2
daniel(thinking to himself): hmm...i got same marks as cheryl..why am i in 2?
maths teacher: okay...if u wanna knoe how are u people banded..its according to your maths grades..
daniel(thinking to himself): she made a mistake isit?
maths teacher: okay...some of u guys are not banded according to your mid yr grades but according to how progressive i tink u are
daniel(thinking to himself): haiz...another person who thinks i am slow and stewpid besides coach...

daniel's hurt...with tears in his eyes...

i look stewpid?

2005-07-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

went for training today...woots~...kinda miss lay court vball man...the fun part about court vball the part where u have to work as a team...though it might not always work out but the fun is the trying to be a team part...yeps...wss kinda shocked by the attendance of today's training...only 3 girls turn up...hmm..tink these people better buck up a lil...having test the next day is not a excuse good enough to miss training to begin with man...seriously..if everyone is like u people in school...wont CCA attendace always be below the required %?...dots to them man...think abt it..

well...the main point is dat coach refer me to the NTU group...kinda sad..do i really look so stewpid...? this makes me wanna start mugging man...sians...

saka-e saka-e saka-e~....sushi

2005-07-06T23:46:00.000+08:00

hmm...went sakae sushi buffet with yang sam and zhigang today...well..was suppose to be 7+1 lunch outing but...wai lreng no $ and gab is still recuperating from dengue...for bb and mr...i simply do not wish to recall when they din come..humph...but the 4 of us was more than enough..hahahz..laugh a lot today man...talking shit..eating..drinking and laughing all at the same time...hahaz..finally can multitask...it was fun la..but i am sure will be more fun with the rest of the 7+1 coming along..another time i guess...

just learn that my aunt's cancer cells have spread all over her body...i also dunno how i am feeling...shock...sad?...maybe in between?...hope wad lin jun jie said on the the charity show is true...cancer can be cured....but even when it has spread all over the body?...hmm...well...hope she recovers though...somehow...through her desire to live on and God's blessings on her...

chaos~

2005-07-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

finally...a decent pic with my sis...

2005-07-04T00:47:00.000+08:00

beach outing!

2005-07-04T00:46:00.000+08:00

heh...the 4/(7+1) of us...

back to beaching....

2005-07-04T00:41:00.000+08:00

woots...finally went beach today...hahaz...had a great and tiring day man from playing beach vball and laughin at yang yang nonstop...i never realise i have such a silly buddy around me till today...keep making a fool out of himself...hahahaz!...alrites people...mr chow tired from todays outing...so some pics only..chaos~

Almost

2005-07-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

Bowling For Soup»
Almost

I almost got drunk at school at 14
Where I almost made out with the homecoming queen
Who almost went on to be miss texas
But lost to a sl*t with much bigger breastes
I almost dropped out to move to LA
Where I was almost famous for almost a day
And I almost had youBut I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished you would've loved me too

I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did 5 years and then 7 more
Cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cause you ran away
And I wish I woulda had the nerve to ask you to stay
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
I almost wish you would've loved me too

Here I go thinking about all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift cause all the baggage weighs a ton
I know we've had our problems
I can't remember one
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I cant fit it in I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessing and now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
And I almost had you
I almost wish you would've loved me too

mid-yr finish liaoz!

2005-07-02T16:22:00.001+08:00

WOOTS~...yoyoyo!...i'm back from the tormenting days of the mid-yr exams...finally man! it ended yest...well..it din go as well as i thought it will be..guess i will still be failing stuffs here and there...haiz...i really gotta buck up...should follow vanee..everyday stay in sch and study..after all..the biggest exam of my life is coming in like 100+ days time?...sians..its time i devote myself to it..as mr kweuk says..."suffer 2 yrs..and u will be able to enjoy the rest of your life"...i have been slacking for 1 and a half yrs..so i suppose i better "suffer" this half of the yr...humphz....

yest after exams..head town with zhigang sam and wai lreng....i still must say..dat stewpid zhigang con us go town just to cut his hair!!!...arghhz...but well..the short session of slacking around was long enough for me..coz i was simple too exhausted from the exams...well...zhigang left like 3 plus coz we changed our destination to bugis and wai lreng left a while later to celebrate teck yan's birthday...yeps..then sam and i shop a while more and we head our way home...

woke up this morn...with runny nose..hmm...must be sam and wai lreng yest...pass their flu to me la..they were like blowing their nose all the time from wad i can rem...sam was worse...the mucus never stop flowing..at least wai lreng's stopped after a while...hmm..now i gotta stay at home to rest...haiz...well...tmr going beach...really look forward to it man!...steady!...chaos~

2005-06-25T03:42:00.000+08:00

i am starting to miss the beach...haiz...

haze?..or stress?

2005-06-25T03:28:00.000+08:00

have been studying quite a bit recently..dats y the blog neglection..paisehz...well..was studying in school yest when i had this hard-to-breathe feeling..meaning i have to breathe damn hard to get enough oxygen...hmm...why ar?...isit the stress or isit the haze season again..hmm..

my buddy...

2005-06-08T22:53:00.000+08:00

my buddy...

hmm...hes someone whose always there when u need someone to talk to..blur as he is..he never fails to make a fool out of himself in the midst of discussion or conversation..hes a wimp when it comes to spooky stuff...he simply refuses to watch scary movies and would rather watch sth sci-fi...kinda yukky to me though..someone who MUST read mag before he starts studying..and may i add always getting distracted easily..well..i presume all his knowledge abt IT comes from all the mag he reads..and i must add..his life is simple all abt vball...there was once, things din turn out well between us..had this lil cold war which lasted for a mth?..or so..but well..all in all..i am glad this tall and skinny fella is a great BUDDY of mine...thanks

to me...giving up is loser behaviour

2005-06-07T23:49:00.000+08:00

arghh...i totally give up talking to my sister..shes becoming sth which is so minute..so lilttle of her..to eventually resort to giving up...seriously..i dunno whether shes really shaken by the last vball game and her frens comments...

to me..giving up is loser behaviour...i hate to say this..but sis..do this once u will cont doing it for the rest of your life..and who knoes wad u will turn out to be in future when i see u...u made a choice..vball to tennis...stick to it..as i said..its just like subject combi...u will lose out if u change combi halfway...fancy saying i dun understand and i dun give u support...seriously..if u wan me to just nod my head to everything u decide...and not comment anything abt it..i tink next time u dun needa find me to confide la..find anyone on the street..they will be able to nod their heads too and give u the more asuring ans u always wanted

everyone made a choice...when beethovan decided to be a musician..he stick to it even though hes deaf...how much more difficult isit for someone who cant even hear to make music...than u..with vball basics..to make the fullest of your choice...u have no one to blame..seriously..and sulking whole day dat u make a wrong choice wont help make your vball life any better...i dunno wad ure tinking now..but if u tink tennis is wad u want..go ahead..i am not stopping u..or even gonna comment more..theres no point man...all the best for it though...and dun get out of track this time round...

the meditation begins

2005-06-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

well..today was the last day of extra lesson for the june hols...so i will be real free hiding at home everyday to study...well..guess my only form of entertainment will be the com..so i guess i will be blogging quite often..so stay tune ya~..

2005-05-31T12:40:00.000+08:00

the 7+1 gang...WOOT~!

IHG

2005-05-26T00:01:00.000+08:00

yesh..today is IHG...and i am down for 2 track events..one 4 x 100 for the inter CCA cat and 4 x 400 for the inter house cat...

early in the morn when i came to school..man..i start to feel gan cheung for race in the afternoon...alrites..yes..i was scared..simply coz i seriously have no confidence of winning both the events...the 4 x 400 was a total surprise...din expect to event get a 3rd...but well..good enough yea?...well zhigang...hope this lil reward never make u regret running for inter CCA...hehheh

4 x 400...hahahz..got FIRST!!!...tada..hahahz...this was the dessert of the day man...so happy!!!!..feel so satisfied..feel like i have finally done sth for curie..go curie..hope we get champion house this yr ya?...

well for the rest of the events..curie did pretty well...4 x 400 girls and the 10 x 200 mixed and medley...hmm..hope all these points add up to bring curie up on the score board...

never the less..a few people i must thank for the great success today...FIRSTLY...of course must thank my dearest house capt..rebecca..hahaz..she gave me a chance to be part of race and she never fail to be there for me when i need help.thanks!....then it was my team mates..namely gabriel BB and yang..and the girls team..thanks for staying back to give me support..it really helps...then ya..the supporters...well..thanks for cheering for me..it does make me wanna pia all the way man...weiqi nat and gang..thanks!...also not forgetting those who cheered but somehow i din hear u..namely "nipless"...hehheh..then lastly...of course a big thanks to the team..if not for u guys...i wont be getting this gold medal..yeps!...thanks to all u guys...

may god bless all of u yea?....chaos!~...

ps: YEA GAB!!!....WE DID IT!

dunno how much longer i can tahan...

2005-05-16T00:50:00.000+08:00

well...today i am a good boy....i did my tutorials...but FUCK...i cant seem to manage it anymore...questions are like..so difficult?...everything was half done...electrolysis...quantum...and S6...wasnt so much worried abt maths..coz usually i will not knoe how to do until my tuition teacher goes through with me...but my chem and physics...wads happening to me~....has my level of intelligence drop by so much...oh man..maybe it was the uncle who was smoking in front of me yest...make my brain more retard than ever...man..god help man ...i really need those pathetic brain cells developing in my brain...haiz...

chaos~

hmm...

2005-05-12T22:05:00.000+08:00

here i am again...adding another post...this week was pretty alrite for me..had napfa on tues..which i totally screwed up the 2.4 km run...damn affected by the stitch..first time it hurts so badly...make me rem the pain i had when i was in pri.4 and had to go op for it...anyways..ya..screwed it up..so had to rerun next tues...and so i will make sure i get myself prepared and not let some stewpid stitch affect me again..yeps..

signed after dat..then came back to school the following day coz had to take chem test..and guess wad the shit my gp teacher give me ... "i can always tell when u guys have a test..coz daniel will be absent the day before"...like wad the shit la..yest i saw the faces of death and she give me these kinda crap...guess i will never be dat good boy in her eyes like i am in the eyes of others..wad can i say..i just dislike her la..like the majority...though i must agree shes a good GP teacher...but not one with a personality dat i can click with..so to hell with it...

had 4 x 400 heats the same dat as chem test...hahahz..man..i was frighten...its been long since i ran with so many eyes at me...hahaz..and given someone with stage fright...its great stress to be in dat situation....and its kinda rebecca's fault..hahahz..make us go for heats..should have let us straight into finals...scared one time enough le...make me scared two times...

and so the heats started...with the 4 x 100 boys and girls first...gosh..both teams tried their best and din qualify....anyways well done curie 4 x 100 people...winning a race doesnt really matter as long as u out win yourself yea?...wasnt very spurred by the results of both the race...well..then it was the medley race...this is the one which brought me some encouragement...hhahahz....so qualify le...for the finals...the yao long and hockey fella make a come back after the girls lost to fleming's girls...woohoo~...well done guys...then it was my turn...

i was the second runner...and gab the third...with darrell the first and senthil the last...well..guess wad..we got first...and yesh..we qualify!...woot~...hahahaz...actually i tink basically it was all thanks to darrell...gave us a nice lead...which of course made things easier for me...hahahaz...a lil disappointed with myself for not being able to extend the lead..but wells...i will do better on sports day ya team?...with the poms poms flinging..and the curie spirit going..hahhaz...just u guys wait k...

then it was the curie 4 x 400 girls...tada!...qualify too...coz got rebecca ma....well done team...

and yesh rebecca...both of us needa lose a few KG for better performance on the finals yea?...all for curie..

well..for now..i gotta go do chem tutorial..or else mdm AW will make me sit out of class man..hahhaz..chaos!~

wad happened?

2005-05-05T10:54:00.000+08:00

yest went training....suppose to be a happy gathering for the J2s...photo taking and games and stuffs...but i dunno how come it ended up this way..

yest dur training and photo taking...everything was fine till after training...hmm..hate to conclude but i dunno wad the girls team heard about us dat make them react this way towards us...seriously...so much for frenship ya?...this is how vulnerable frenships can be..just a hearsay or misunderstanding...everything can go kaboom!~ over night just like this...quite sad la seriously... went through so much with the girls and sth like this can happen

was quite bothered by it...hmm...but yang kinda assured me not to worry so much ba..well..kinda true..time will explain everything i guess just like my and his quarrel the other time...i cant say i changed or wadsoever...but i can firmly tell everyone whose reading this blog...we accept each others good points and flaws...prob dats y the 7+1 frenship will prevail!~~.... woohoo~

well back to yest...think about it..maybe we went a bit overboard...but think again ppl...we went through so much..put in so much effort and give everything we have to fulfill our dreams...but it was crushed and thrashed by this one person...seriously...think abt it...went TP a number of times..played with PHS countless times..VS...quarrels...laughs...smiles...tears...we gave everything we have to try to attain our dream of being at the aircon place...but..ruin..now its all ruin...i dunno how dat fella feels...but..screw la..i hate to say this..but prob he din go through the journey with us..and prob not knoe wheres the destination...=(...just bringing this up brings tears to my eyes..

well...hockey girls kinda got into top 4...winning ACJC yest...WOOHOO~...well done girls...go all way out to help us fulfill a dream dat we din manage to attain...jia you ya...

for now..all i can say is dat..we knoe the girls for so long...went through so much...helped so much...but this is wad we get in return...a black face with no words to express how honest one feels...we maybe insensitive towards the J1 boys yest...but think again..are u being sensitive towards our feelings by treating us this way?...we had a dream..it was tarnished...we are victims of this whole incident too...whose side are u girls on?...someone who have been with u ppl till where u are today...so someone whose just a passerby in your team's life...

for now..just wanna tell dat fella to not talk so much rubbish man...get me into trouble once and again...got reprimanded by mdm chan a few times because of his false statement...balls man..i gave u a chance when u came into pjc...u threw dat chance away with your disgusting behaviour and rudeness...know your roots man...if not for us..will u be where u are today?...not a word of thanks...but a whole load of trouble...hmm...maybe wai lreng is rite...i should have appealed for someone more worth it...and not someone who i wanna give a chance to...totally disappointed man...DISAPPOINTED with your behaviour...sec sch liddat..now also like dat...why dun u reflect on how come theres so much people whom u have difficulty relating too...and now be so snobbish and throw your attitude around...

arghh...for now i shall chaos..in sch lib now and typing more just pisses me off...

i cant breathe

2005-04-20T22:37:00.000+08:00

wa laus....today have training and i am totally stuck up with the flu la...basically i cant breathe...which is totally distracting me...sorry guys..kinda blur and slow today...but seriously..i am already having a hard time catching my breath...

then after training called rebecca and went for trials...400m...nabeis..clock a 62 secs...this totally sucks from my sec sch of 56 secs la...man..i am really losing my stamina...run one round round the track i already like half dead...jialat man..the house carnival day how?...inter CCA race..then this 400m thingy and still got some silly relay which i am not sure of...all for one point for the stewpid pearls system...if not for the stewpid system..i wont even run man...balls~

steady man..tmr against AJC...time to fight our way through man...hahahaz...really hope i wake up tmr and my flu will just disappear...then i prob can breathe and not get so blur and gan cheung during the game..dat is if i get sub in la...hmm...somehow deep inside me...i DUN WANNA GET sub in...so u guys better play well and save me the trouble...steady ya?...

well..all i can do now is just pray to god...HEAL me and bless our match tmr..i wanna watch/play a match i will never forget in my whole entire life...i wan team pjc be the talk of everyone at the court tmr...coz we are so gonna fight and try our best to win ajc!..ya god?..bless us ya...thanks!

nabeis

2005-04-14T22:55:00.000+08:00

wah..today damn nabeiz...mdm shafa complain to ms liew say i truancy la...damn pissed off..told her i got migraine...she say why migraine still can come train..pissed man..where got people migraine the whole day one..i everytime wake up with it or have it before i sleep..GET ME!?...stop doubting me la...i hate it when people dun trust me..ARGHHH...i was really ill mdm shafa..so pls stop judging me as a bad boy..

xiao ming is ill...hope he gets well soon..his gastric seems kinda bad these few days..

thought abt stuffs..then finally realise wads wrong with the team..we dun trust each other as much anymore..we snatch balls from each other..7+1...we must really learn to trust each other..trust each other dat the ball will be received nicely..set nicely and spike deadly...its the trust dat kept us going...the encouragment...and inspiring words from each other...i dun seem to feel the trust or even hear the words of encouragment anymore...how?...gotta work on dat ya guys...tmrs MJC...hmm...will be back with the good news..just u wait...chaos~

vs YJC~

2005-04-11T20:30:00.000+08:00

sians man today...went to school for this chem test which i din really study...tink i will totally screw it up...its like hell...i dunno wad the f i am doing man...tink i really needa buck up...as ms aw said "A levels is in 7 mths"....panic...seriously panic...din really attend much lessons in school today coz our A division vball competition starts today...woo hoo~

today is our first match against YJC...kinda bad performance...coach sub me in place of mingren for second set...but the atmosphere of the second set was like hell of a shit la...totally sian diao...everyone is so dead...hate it when things like this happens...hope our match against TJC tmr is hell of an excitement man...

coach debrief...was kinda harsh on zhigang..say until liddat...but bro..take it easy yea?...thats how coach debriefs...was kinda discourage by him too..but yea..tmr is a brand new day and a new fight ahead...

watched HCI girls vs innova...diao man..the HCI girls can really play...good spikes...scary service and their holding on for everyball is really worth applausing for...

watched SAJC played too..hmm..not really performing i guess..but nvm girls...u will be in the flow soon..cont to fight hard and dun give up yea?

haiz...guess i will end here...kinda tired...needa rest for tmr's battle...we have to win man!..chaos~

i'm finally back~

2005-04-09T22:22:00.000+08:00

WOOHOO~...this has been a busy week for me man..hardly got time to blog...the silly teacher ..give so much work..also dunno they can mark finish anot...esp dat ms aw...hahaz...tell her we only have 24 hrs a day...how to finish so much work..her reply was dat theres only 7 more mths to A levels....stress~...

THE stupid weather nowadays oso quite sians...so much so my migraine attack is back la...terrible man..the last time i had an attack was like...1 yr plus ago..prob this period oso...one day can rain and shine dunno how many times...normal people sure get sick one la....esp without sleep from the endless pile of homework~!!!...arghh...now as i am blogging..my nose is running and the throat is starting to get sore..damn kaobei..really hope i dun fall sick man..or else ar..makes things worse..

Yest went to watch the B girls finals...wa~...jin cai man...very long never watch finals with 5 matches and ending with a score of 16-14 on the last set le...sadly PHS won...well..kinda expected la the results..but i was support jurong sec instead..was really impressed by their fight spirit and stuffs...and they are kinda the underdogs in the finals..hehheh..which reminds me of m y current team...but anyhow..well done JURONG SEC VBALL GIRLS...that was a great fight u put on yest....

watched vball finals with bomber man...hmm...tink shes kinda upset dat perry went army liaoz...but as usual shes putting on a brave front with no tears and stuffs...tough sia...dear mum...perry is gonna be out before u knoe it and as u said..the pass out is actually quite fast one lo...so steady ar..work hard to earn me some lunch $$$ then maybe time will pass faster..hehehh...=P

i got to TPY...by train la...was taking the same way as xiao ming..hahahaz..share a few stuffs of the heart with him..kinda nice fella when it comes to being a listening ear..damn steady...thanks man xiao ming...the potential sarong boy~...

after the match went TP to play friendly...was kinda sians la...coz basically very tired liaoz..and travelling there is not the best thing to do...the fucking long train ride...and play for a mere 2 hrs..then another fucking long ride home...how i wish TP is like beside my school..then i wont mind going there everyday man....played kinda terrible at TP..=(...but somehow coach still manage to cheer me up with his smile...i tink dats the best encouragement he can even give me man..just a simple smile...the more he black face..the worse i feel and the worse i play man...come to think of it...i am act quite weak mentally...pressure on court is like hell of a time to me man...cannot take it...sometimes make mistake during play..i dun even dare look at jiao lian man...sure dio bird face from him one..which will affect me...hmm...tink i gotta learn a few tips from bomberman on being brave..hahahz...

reached home a 12 yest and slept soon after dat...coz this morn got training...haiyo...and its at 730..nabeis man..so early la...woke up..took cab with sam to school as usual...with my eyes totally swollen and not even knowin wads going on till the girls training started...seriously...too tired man...hahaz...weak u may tink...but for me..without enough sleep is the worse feeling u can get in this world man...erms..besides being heart broken from love..

after training...came home to ZzzzzZzz...too tired liaoz...then went out for movie..wOOHOO~...watched the eye 10 with sister...hahhaz..actually its more like a comedy than a scare movie la...a bit waste my money...but to tink again..its quite worth being a comedy...then we had dinner at KFC...and talk a lil..i tink she miss me...as a bro..i haven been there for her..when i told her she can approach me for help when she has difficulties in maths of physics...she keep rejecting me saying dat i am too busy...but well sis...when u ask me qns..i am learning too...so dun be shy ya...

well...2 more days to competition...quite excited abt it..more also more anxious for it to end...fun as it may be...but..its gonna be the most tiring and time limiting period we will have this yr man...as much as i wanna win...i wanna get my 3As too..gonna neglect my 3As for a while...and conc a lil on the competition...toy and boss told me before...dat its not too late to start after the competitions..hope dat works on the not as intelligent me....well to 7+1 gang...rest well and lets fight our way through the competition starting form this coming monday...

alrites..enough of blogging...i gotta go do my work..still owe my GP tcher and ms aw some over due work...stress...chaoS~

sians...so sick of things....

2005-03-31T21:10:00.000+08:00

kinda sians...was thinking abt stuffs and suddenly feel so sick of everything...everything is getting so sians...everything is a cycle...from team conflicts..to everyday life...well...theres nuthin much i can do about ...but live it..

everyday wake up ...wash up..drink up..then go school...tire myself out...then come home exhausted...do work..study...seriously..dunno how much longer i can hold on to such a lifestyle..college life seriously suck...worse..my only main source of happiness(7+1 gang) is not at all constant...our relationship keep rocking..so on the verge...hmm...is there really no way when we can sit down happily...without any conflict...why cant we guys be more sensitive towards each other...hmm...also realise dat..the same kinda conflict keeps repeating itself...but one thing worth *hurray* about is prob dat...wadeva happens...we just hold on tightly to our friendship...but seriously...really hope 7+1 friendship will be one without flaws...and dat my main souce of happiness will be a constant...

went to think deeper and ....also dunno how to put it to you guys..but if u guys read this..hopefully things will change...personally myself..i really envy carol..to the girls team..wad she says counts...the girls will follow wholeheartedly without any complains or objections...was thinking to myself...is carol more respected than i do?....7+1 gang...i really really love ya guys...but somehow when it comes to vball...and i pass down instructions..things just aint as good as the friendship..also dunno whether u guys take advantage of things coz we are close frens...and u guys simply dun respect me...seriously...when u guys disobey me...i dun feel angry or mad or wadsoever...i just feel so disappointed and sad...u guys are the closest people i am to in this school..and u guys dun even support me...sometimes really feel damn helpless...things aint the same when the rest of the team disobey me...i will prob react with anger...but to ya guys...simply sadness and disappointment...

haiz..hope things change...for the better of course...and i love wad christine said...do not give up a dream without trying...playing at aircon place was never a goal for us..its a dream then we live having...let try guys~...lets try...chaos~

wad happened?...internal conflict?

2005-03-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

today's training was a bit cocked up..also dunno wad happened...during team formation training everyone's face so black..and i din even knoe sth was wrong until training ended...dat speaks of how much i take note of things going on around me...well..hope wadeva happened resolves soon...i dun really wish to knoe wad exactly happened..hmm..guess it will sadden me..just hope for the best of it...

yea..wai wai came back for training..but seems to be not performing..lost touch bah..take your time k wai wai...some things just cant rush...and go easy on the ankle ya..i knoe how u are feeling..it happened to be last yr..

well..nuthin worth mentioning...just pray dat everything gets well soon....yang..wadeva it is..go easy on yrself k..chow dun wanna lose his beloved house pet..so same goes for the rest of the 7+1 gang..wadeva happens...LIFE GOES ON...rain or shine...pls stay smiling~...chaos~

the aftermath of common test

2005-03-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

haiz...bad day man...today get back paper one for chem and physics...physics i fail chem i dun even dare look at it ...so i dunno the marks at the moment...damn diao man..if i am given more time to study..i am quite sure i will do better lo...ms aw nag at us AGAIN...kinda sad la..everytime make her worry for us...guilty oso..shes already so busy COOKING FOR HER HUSBAND...still must worry for us..paiseh man ms aw...sians la..nvm nvm...mid yr...mid yr we shall see...see me get 3As man...just u guys wait...well...i did pass my maths with just half an hour of studying...WAHAHAHHA...got a C...counted not bad le i tink..hehheh...yang came over my place to get his blog done...take a look at it..hes linked up to me...and at the moment..sam is trying to do his blog too..hahahz...realise dat everyone is blogging...dunno wads with the frenzy...maybe its our way of saying thanks to other people who blog for us to read..hahahz...i oso learnt dat...me and yang are the only two who haven watch the EYE 10 yet...damn nabeis...suppose to watch as a vball team one la..end up liddat...pangseh la...luckily just called my friend..this friday i am watching it man...

ohyah...yang bought a new phone...K700i... tempting me man..hahahz..i oso wanna get a new phone...but haiz..bo lui...so many things i wanna buy la...a new phone...a new laptop..a new pair of board shorts..a new bottle and a few t shirts...hahahz..dunno how i gonna buy all these with the little $$$ i have..but well..i gotta tink...even thought of working part time from home..well..shall see abt it...

yest went to orch after church with bombermum....looking for new pair of board shorts...BUT...to my horror..i cant find a pair suitable for viewing pleasure la...wads with the board shorts nowadays man..kaoz...now i have to wait for the next season to see whether its better looking and is worth buying....ohyah...met zhigang yi mei and jesmine at town too...haha...heard from zhigang its after his match..then they head to town for lunch...well..nuthin much oso...after so many hours spent in town yest..only manage to buy a bag of famous amos which is no longer around...and a pair of MANLY earrings...hahahz..hope it goes with my ear..hehheh

got part of my BELATED b dae prezzie from the guys today..a pair of reef slippers..i must say its not bad..hahaz...nice nice~...and heard the other part is a vball theme photo frame..cant wait to see how it looks like man..hahaz..and yang..u better include a pic inside to make the prezzie complete..hehheh....and..THANKS to the 7 of us gang...forthe prezzie..will love anything u guys get me..

alrite..its dinner time..damn hungry...gotta go MAKAN LIAOS!..hehheh.curry leh..steady boh!~...chaos!~

happy b dae chew~

2005-03-27T03:52:00.000+08:00

well...its chew's birthday today...HAPPY BIRTHDAY chew~...went to his place for a BBQ gathering..well..kinda enjoyed myself...cos get to see all the ex class mates and some friends i haven been catching up with for quite some time...Ms tan and Mr tan was there too..haha...Ms tan got this horrendous appetite u wont wanna knoe la...keep eating and bbqing....eating and bbqing...like..dots man..well..but i must say..the sotong and prawns she bbq...damn steady!~...hahaz..end up at chew's room after the BBQ...taking pictures...checking out ppl's friendster..then angela and yisheng intro me to this..dunno wad suicide girl website which her friend was inside..hahahaz...sub-porn man..cool huh~!..WAHAHAZ....then yisheng showed me the project dat he had done with disney's...trace the dragon game i tink..haz..i completed it la!~..woohoo~...now hopefully i win and i will get the disney studio jacket..how cool is dat man...well...then end up here..blogging...well its kinda late now..must really go..got church later..its easter sunday service..chaos~

2005-03-25T06:57:00.000+08:00

look like ming ren riTE!???

i'm back

2005-03-25T06:36:00.000+08:00

helloS *peeps*! finally started blogging again...so much to talk abt...so little chance to say...so i guess this is best...just finished common test man...darn screwed up..so freaking tough la...even vanni thinks its difficult!...so u can imagine how tough isit liaoz...luckily din finish studying man..or else sure damn gek sim...BUT...i still hope i will be able to clear common test...after all..a report card will be given..and its not a pleasant scene when u see your parents frown at the look of your report card...though they kinda wont say much..but still feel guilty man...

ohyah!...went BLACK with angela yisheng and SAM!!!...his virgin night man..he claims he enjoyed himself...hahaz..i tink he totally shag man..now sleeping on my bed...hahahz..he told his parents he going chalet...dats y now tonning at my place man *shhh..* so happening la just now...maybe its cos too long never go liao...miss dancing to the music so much..hehez...but as usual...sth happened...yisheng suddenly went all quiet and left..also dunno wads wrong...hmm...but i kinda suspect sth...will keep quiet abt wad i suspect till i can manage to confirm its true..somemore...we met a new fren introed to us by ben...name daryl...BUT look so much like MINGREN...hahahz..damn funny...sam and i keep staring at him whenever he talks and stuffs to spot the similarity...dun believe..check out the pic man!

competition's approaching...oso dunno looking forward to it anot...like more spur to study liddat...prob coz bomber mum got 3As...feel the pressure to get it...and also to prove myself...20 pointer with 3As...just u guys wait man...i will be on stage next yr when the A levels results is release...WOOHOO!~...alrites...gtg for now...gotta get my stuffs ready le...going church in half an hours time and got class outing after dat...see how the class outing will go yea?...chaos!~

2005-03-24T14:52:00.000+08:00

7 of us!

2005-03-24T14:49:00.000+08:00

hey BB!

PJC vs Singapore Schools..... =(

2004-11-17T18:14:00.000+08:00

hai hai hai....its been 2 days since the match against singapore schools...we won...but somehow its not a very happy win...coach gave us a lecture which totally turn everyone off la...first time win a match until so sad...
true...we did not perform...but...he dun have to be so harsh ya?...even threaten not to coach us if we gonna stay disunited...which is a bit ???huh???.... in the first place..are we not disunited...he said something abt hypocritic stuffs should be avoided...like..wad the hell...who is he referring to and wad did we do...
worse thing...he wanted to sub me during the game...come on la...though i did score much points..at least i din lose any silly points like spiking errors or wadsoever...like hell...does he even trust me...glad he din not sub me out..or else i would have felt worse than ever man...hai
tmr against VS...this time me and wai quite determine to make him clap man and like be proud of us...make him speechless...pray for the best!

i wanna be a FAT christian!....God...heal zhigang soon yea?...thanks!

TP friendly~...for a good cause?

2004-11-05T02:58:00.000+08:00

yesh yesh...went TP yest again...surprisingly..VS was there too...so many people training together...like..haiyo..so luan!...during free spiking see so many people running here and there...jumping around..gosh..give me the feeling when i go to the playground when i was much younger..bring back the old memories ya?...hahahahahhaz....after that got play friendly...but..sucks man...i cant even play properly...the pain on my right shoulder is like..haiyo...taking over my mind...i cant think of anything else but the pain...it just hurts man...like totally screwed up...but yea..gotta endure for the coming competitions...must really go stock up on the pain killers and muscle relaxer...hope that ease the pain a lil ...

well...YEA...we started talking...but we spoke only three sentences...which has nuthing to do with our personal stuffs...but the game..volleyball~...i tink if we go on like dat..we are getting no where man...personally..i feel dat it is not only affecting the both of us..but the whole team...dunno whether i am too sensitive or wad...but the recent downgraded performance of the team is basically due to the both of us...sians la...we cant communicate...keep making mistakes...in the past..we dun really have to bother coz theres no way i will be near him...but recently coach changed the team positions...which ends me up with him wherever i go..not very good huh..i must go think of someway to solve this lil prob...or else its not fair to the rest of the 7...think chow think~!

haiz...i better go get some sleep...having A maths paper in like...5 hrs time...so sick of it...i dunno how to do matrices...vectors...sets....gosh man..but dun care..just gonna try my luck..since the school force me to do so~...too bad pj~...hahahaz...alrite..shall losoh till here for today...tmr got A maths paper in the morn...fmss match in the afternoon and TP training cum friendly in the evening...long day ahead...lets hope i perform tmr!..hahahaz..and LIMHUIYEE...is sleep really dat more impt to your fmss vball gang!!!!!...u heartless ***** ..haha

1st NOV '04 ---- a day i will never forget...

2004-11-01T22:47:00.000+08:00

YESH...its 1st Nov...promo results is out today~!!!...WOOHOO~...i cleared man!...hahah... so happy..first time i pass promos k...after trying for like 2 yrs?...sounds a bit pathetic..but i dun care la...hahaha...hmm...din really do dat well esp for my physics..but ya..nvm...God give me such results so dat i wont get complacent and slack off...i will cont to strive for my A B B man...just u guys watch out...by A levels...i will be on stage getting the...er...top 10 students man...just u wait!

hmm...things are quite fine for the 7 of us...quite steady la...at least nobody retain..only one of them have to go through re-exam...good enough la...thank God again...actually i feel dat re-exam is not dat bad actually...it forces u to revise...at least when school reopens u wont be like blur shit..and re-exam oso like...make u cherish your J2 life more...dat u will work harder for As...steady ma?....dun cry le la...pick yourself up and JIA YOU K!...big bro here behind u!...

well...TOMBOY oso has to re-exam..but sure..shes in a much happier mood...CONGRATS man tomboy! so happy for u too!...hahhahaz...

dat stewpid BB and orh jiao....sickening man...make me worry for nuthing la..shit heads...make me sit outside LT3 worrying ...on the verge of crying...but they were actually in class...dunno doing wad la...one playing pika vball and the other oso cannot really rem...i just knoe when i went to their classroom and see them inside...DAMN ANGRY la...yet of course happy...those two doinks promoted!...WOOHOO~...dun they dare do this to me again man...i will probably be the one crying instead...ohyah...xiaodi promoted too...i dunno how la...but promote can le...dun care how...hahahz...from this dat onwards i will drag him along to wherever i am to make sure he studies with me...and make sure he dun slack off singing and chattering away...xiaodi..i knoe u love talking man...and ya..singing...hahahz dun blame u...i probably good fren with u coz u always got sth to tell me...hahaz!...BUT...the most steady and confirm thing today is XIAO MING PROMOTED!...wa lau...damn happy for him la...he got better results than me k!...damn steady...so happy for him...

erm...yea...dat fella promoted too la...though with wad grades i dunno...but ya..good enough
he seems satisfied...he happy can le la...he went for OGL interview today..i wanted to go la...for the CIP hours...but ya..better not la...things still quite sour...should cut down on the contact....ppl keep telling me to like settle the prob...but at the moment..things are so bad..i cant think of anyway to patch things up with him...aiya...if things stay this way..then let it be lo...i oso have no say...but i do miss gossiping with him la....so tempted to actually start bitching with him today..but nahs...things are not the same now...so ya..will make things so awkward between us...forcing a conversation...well...so life goes on man...getting steadier everyday!

THANK YOU SO MUCH MAN GOD...u ROCKS!

life can't go on....

2004-10-30T16:32:00.000+08:00

well guess its my first time blogging....alrite... i am desperate..need some way to let out my frustrations, stress, PROBLEMS~... this sux man.. had a tough week...the bestest friend i met this year totally fell out with me... we are not even talking till this very moment..the worse thing is ..i dun even knoe wad the heck i did!!!... arghhh...all i get from him is dat i am too objective in the way i do things...???.....and somehow he understands why i am liddat but hes just affected...seriously...i just hope everything ends soon..with a hand shake and a hug..and everything will start afresh...it just feels funny to lose someone who takes up such a big space in your heart just suddenly...haiz...GOD...please help me and put things back to the way it was before...